So Ive been super sad lately. Well no that's sort of a lie, Ive been really up and down lately. I will be sooo happy then I'm like... well how I am right now. I think its because I'm gaining weight. Its really disgusting. I'm not really happy with anything in my life either. I was thinking about what makes people happy. Does anything really make one really happy? Or is it just pretend.

Ive been in receiving these past two days. I love Greg. He told me stop being so hard on myself because I he was leaving and I was like can I get this all done, or should I be able to? He told me if I didn't don't worry about it. I just told him if I'm going to do something I need to do it right, and good. He told me he wouldn't be upset if there's stuff left over. Jokingly.. But I told him I would be disappointed in myself. He told me I expect to much from myself. I'm still pondering about that.


The sort of things people have told me lately Ive really been thinking about. My brother, that boy, Greg, Dem, Pandher, Brandon. I want to be happy. There's so many things I would do over again. You cant just live on regret or live in the past, but I think my life would be so much different. I need to start changing things. This is a really depressing one. Sorry. There's just no point.