I push people away. I don't really do it on purpose. I need to stop doing it. I think that's why Kelowna just appeals to me so much. No one will know me there and I will just be alone. I prefer being alone and doing things myself but I really know like everyone here. I'm not a good liar so when I attempt to say I'm busy or I have something else, they know when I'm lying. Even when I say I already ate people just smile and don't really want to say anything, few have said something or I will just give in.

Me and my ex would go and eat like all the time. I hated it. I just got to the point of throwing it up after. He didn't like it. Since you can tell when this one throws up! My eyes get blood shot and really really weak, I pretty much need to sleep right after I do it. We would go for late dinners.


Like moving away from the family, its good but bad on the part of me being alone. Like they are getting old. I know this sounds so bad. But soon they will die, most likely Mom sooner than Dad. Since she has like everything you can possibly think of! But then I wouldn't be as upset. That's really bad of me. Even to think it.

My dog is dying. He keeps throwing up, cant move. I think we have to put him down. I don't even not even remember not having him.. Its going to be really hard. And gosh.

My feet hurt sooo bad! I pulled that tenant. Greg told me more information about history about it. Hes lovely. I will miss him when I move. I think I will miss him more than my dad. That's pretty sad and weird at the same time hey?

I feel bad for not running. I have mixed feelings about it, its good that I don't want to hurt me more, but I need to get cardio in. My calories out.

Wipe out, the T.V show I had to run off to last night... Soooo funny!! haha It was a hoot! I need to watch it next time its on! I'm not one for T.V but that's just awesome.

I need to get my Transcript and send it to the school. I also need to get a second job, I'm worried I wont have enough money. I just feel the pressure right now but its because I want to do it.

Rusty, Calories, Weight, School, Money. Its all what I'm like thinking about right now. Not in that order though. I don't know.