I applied or... inquired about a job in Kelowna today. Im really excitied and nervouse, it would be perfect!

I also ran my furthest today!! 19.5 miles. It took me almost 3 hours, but it was amazing, I feel really good about it!

This morning I ate alot.
Popcorn, an orange and special K. Ugh Its sooooo good!
However. We had an accident with that.
Then after my run I had a bowl of soup.

I have a problem with my Prozac... I don't really wan to tell anyone because they will take it away!! I went threw 90 tablets in 9 days. I know. Ugh. But its making me really happy! I don't see what the negative is about it!

Honestly I'm expecting to die from this. I know how sick I was when I was 90 pounds, but it seems worth it to me. Your heart can go too from throwing up and working out too much. Which I totally do both. I know this sounds sick but if I did die from this I think it would be alright. Its my obsession. Something that Ive had for years. I'm scared to get old. I need to love myself and that's how I will love myself is being that small. So I don't really even want help for this. I don't even have a purpose here. I'm just here.

ok! i think I depressed everyone enough, so sorry, Its just really what goes in my head. Thanks so much for reading!