Darryl's little sister died. It was shocking. She wasn't wearing her seat belt in the car with 3 others. She was the only one that died. I'm so sad for him. His only sister. Although I like when these sort or things happen... Like isn't the right word but like it just makes you appreciate everyone around alot more, and really puts whats important out there.

I'm still working on this weight. I'm trying to be ok with how ever I am. If I'm a little over, just right or well I will never be as thin.. since that involved throwing up every meal, working out constantly and just barley eating. I need to be ok with how I am. I need to enjoy the food I'm eating. You shouldn't live your life worrying. Enjoy who you are, who your with, and what you have. Like I'm so lucky! I could have no hearing, no sight, no legs, the list goes on. I'm pretty lucky, and I just abuse my body. I need to be with the people who enjoy me and just like me for me, not how I look. The ones who will be there it doesn't matter too. Like the family. If I married someone and got into a fire, would they just leave me since I had mt face like burnt off? Yeaah I know what I need to do but its just hard to follow threw with it, but I need to do this before its too late, before I really start regretting it. I need to be healthy and live my life. No live live around the gym, do the things I want to do. Oh gosh I have a thing on god too, This is only what I think though ok.

Ok everyone needs to do something for someone else or to impress someone. People cant just do things for themselves. We all need to try to impress or show someone something. So. That's where god comes in, they made this god up to be better for themselves but really do it for someone else. Like oh I need to be a good for god, If I live a good live I will go to heaven, everyone needs to get something out of it. I think I explained that good but so sorry if I didn't. What makes me thought of this is my friend Jeff is trying to get clean with his drugs and cut down on his drinking, he said he was going to do it for me so we can hang out more. Well, I told him I don't want you do just do it for me, I want you to do it for yourself as well. I once did stuff for someone and changed who I was for someone else. And it wasn't worth it. But he told me that he didn't care about himself that much to do it, he even told me that it sounded bad, but I think that's why people created such a thing and its so easy to believe. Sorry if I upset anyone with this but this is totally my thoughts. I'm not saying there is, or there isn't a god. Everyone believes in something different. I know I can do things for myself and I do it for me. I'm also there for when people need to me though so don't think I'm just all self centred and such, But like if I don't want to do something because I don't want to such as drink, drugs, anything like that I wont. I'm a strong enough person that I know I'm alright on my own and I don't need to do that to my body. Totally sounds stuck up hey? Haha oh well that's just me though. I don't really care what people think or say, what ever I do I do it for myself or the ones that are very close to me.
Thanks so much for reading, Its never too late to change.