Okee. This month I am going to lose like 20 pounds. No matter what.
Have everything I need measuring tapes. The motivation. Just I have to be alone again, I have been socializing alot lately so I have to totally cut that out. Nothing is more important than this. Weight, looks is everything. I cant BE LIKE THIS AGAIN. I know I'm just so emotional and upset right now but I cant handle everything like this again. ugh I need to get thin, I need to see my bones. I'm not living my life like this, Its not worth its. I can not fail. Im totally extremly depressed.

You know your fat when your dad says it. I'm going to need to get back into this all hard again. Today is moms birthday. I really don't want to go to dinner. This is like all whats going threw my mind right now. I don't have energy to work out either though. I don't know what to do, I need me meridia again. Then I think it will be ok, if not I will need a new plan. Like if I need to also throw up I will. Its all better when I'm thin, people like to just stress me out. Its like the whole world is coming down again. I hate this. I really really do.